Did you know?

T.M. Camp asked (via Twitter) if this excited or scared me.

Excited.

Budget

Ever since 2000, I've been lucky enough to not have to worry too much about money. Since 2005, when I sold my car and became a born again pedestrian, I've not worried at all. I always made more than I spent, and if I DID spend a little more than the last paycheck, I had a good, solid buffer in place.

Then I bought a house.

These months are the hardest, as I've dumped everything I have into the down payment, closing costs, renovation costs, and trying to toss a little extra into the mortgage payments to save me a ton of money in the long run.

And my bank account is looking pretty damn small right now.

A lot of people I now literally live paycheck to paycheck, and I'm not quite that low. Not yet. But I'm going to be seeing a lot fewer shows over the next few months, and being a bit less social. Ok, part of that last is due to rehearsals for my next show, but it's also because I just don't have any scratch.

As distressing as I find my situation, I know I have enough money in the bank to pay my bills. I know that my second biggest monthly financial commitment will go away in a mere eight months... and maybe sooner. But that doesn't stop me from compulsively checking my bank balance every couple of days.

I'll start doing my taxes soon, and that should give me a windfall that I desperately need. That's encouraging, but it's still a month or two down the road before I can expect to get any cash back.

So, if I don't come see your show, or if I don't offer to pay for dinner, or if I just generally seem to be a little more scarce than usual, forgive me.

-------

also, in thematically related news, Obama has put his budget online for citizen review. I highly recommend that you subscribe to the White House blog's RSS feed, which I've found to be a fantastic way to get news about what is happening in the new administration.

More from the New Frontiersman

I know I may be setting myself up for disappointment, but damn it if it doesn't look like they really get it. Here's hoping the Watchmen movie lives up to it.

Excellent points about the stimulus

Saw this on CNN. The man's got a good point about the Republican list of things to remove from the stimulus plan.

Updating instead of getting work done

Things are going well on this end. Here's a few updates:

The house is developing nicely. I've been here for almost three weeks now, and it feels more and more like my home than this big building that I'm inhabiting. Having the kitchen done and all the appliances hooked up will make a huge difference, as it's hard to settle in someplace when your only water comes from bathroom sinks, your dining room is filled with cabinets and your fridge is in the living room.

It's been nice having Suraya as a houseguest during this time, although we rarely see each other. A more constant companion has been her cat, Midnight, who has taken an aggressive shine to me. Unfortunately I have a mild allergy to cats, and Midnight is very dander-y. Still, whenever I choose to work downstairs, I have a loudly purring ball of night who routinely head-butts me and burrows into my side until I pay attention to her.

iScan is gearing up, with our first production meeting. I've secured the only missing prop (the couch) and we go into rehearsals in two weeks.

The One Eyed Man is King is a show I'll be acting in at the Phoenix Theatre, this May. Directed by Bahati Bonner and co-starring Andi Trindle, it's going to be a really great show and a true challenge for me. I'm looking forward to it, and really need to start working on the script.

Radiostar: Improv is relaunching for 2009. We've had a couple of weeks of recording sessions and I've just been handed "Hypnosis" (working title) for editing and posting (hopefully this week). I also want to get back to work on the fourth cartoon.

The 411 script continues slowly. I'm about a third of the way through it, I think. I hope to get some work on it done this week.

Everything else is up in the air. Steve is gathering forces for the Sweetie Tanya re-recording session and I need to get working on the cast gift. I was very heartened by a spontaneous love-message-fest by the cast on Facebook, and need to be sure that Tanya doesn't drift in the aether for too long. The novel continues to glare at me from the pile, along with Wings to Fly, Mammals in Collision, Called to the Sea and SickFucker.


on the side of unproductivity, as I arrange my bookshelves, I've been reading through some of my old comics. Some are being put in a pile for Craigslist or eBay duty, and others I'm finding are as compelling and fresh as they were back in the 90's when I got them. In particular, I've renewed my appreciation for John Francis Moore's run on X-Men 2099 and Eric Luke's run on Ghost. Sadly, I couldn't find much in the way of interviews for them. I forget sometimes that people don't often interview writers. It probably doesn't matter, because what I'm most curious about are Moore's thoughts about the way that Marvel obliterated the 2099 imprint, and Luke's thoughts about the direction Ghost took after he left the series that he invented. These are topics that people are loathe to speak candidly about in public, since they may need to work with certain parties again in the future.

Resist

I could write about adjusting to being in the new house.
I could write about marching for peace in Gaza in San Francisco.

But I want you to see this protest in Israel itself.

checklist

gas and electric scheduled for transfer, check.
phone and DSL scheduled for transfer, check.
mail service scheduled for transfer, check.

I close escrow on Tuesday. I finish the move on January 3rd. I'll have DSL up and running on Monday the 5th.

People are being amazingly supportive and giving. A friend of Lorelei's is offloading a table-desk on me, which will live in the recording studio/laundry room. Kristi has a friends who is offloading a queen sized bed with sleigh-frame for a pittance. There are rumors of other items in the pipeline as well that people would rather sell super cheap or give away than have to trash (like sheds or even hot tubs). It's all quite amazing.

I've still got some major purchases to make (washer, dryer, fridge, stove, dishwasher), but thanks to another friend I should be able to get these at contractor prices. We've already gotten a completely new cabinet set for $500.

In all of this I continue to be flabbergasted.

The first month will be chaotic, as Chris rips out the kitchen and downstairs bathroom and reassembles it, I'll be using the upstairs bathroom exclusively, as will my houseguest, and I'll probably have the fridge hooked up in the living room. Dishes may be done in the upstairs bathroom sink for a bit. Still, it's all more than good, and it will be for a very brief period.

On Tuesday, Kristi will help me move the boxes that are already packed (mostly books, DVDs, knick knacks, summer clothes, and art) into the house, unpack it all and put it in the corner. Then I'll take the boxes back and pack up the remainder of office and kitchen stuff for the move on the 3rd.

Now, I need to contact a locksmith, and then I'll need to find out how to turn off the alarm system on Tuesday so it quits beeping futilely.

Happy new year.

looking at the big picture

Like many, I got my feathers ruffled when I started getting emails about how Rick Warren was doing the opening prayer at Barack Obama's inauguration. A slap in the face of the gay and transgender community! Salt on the wound of Prop 8! Petition! Clamour!

And then I read the article in the New York Times. Yes, Rick Warren is doing the opening speech, and yes Rick Warren was a major voice for Prop 8 and against the gay community.

However

"Ms. Douglass noted that the benediction, or closing prayers, would be offered by the Rev. Joseph E. Lowery, a civil rights icon who has expressed support for gay marriage, and that the Lesbian and Gay Band Association would march in the inaugural parade, the first time such a group would do so."

This puts a new light on things, and is entirely within Obama's way of handling matters. What is he saying with these choices? I believe he's saying, as he did on his election night "I am the President of ALL America." This isn't anything new. Part of the reason I elected him is because he's interested in getting people together in the same room and talking to each other.

Still, note the order.

We are transitioning from a right wing, fundamentalist regime to something quite different. We open this transition with a voice from the Right. A strident voice, loud and harsh. We close the transition with a very different prayer, a different voice, one of civil rights and equality.

I don't think anything Obama does is accidental. I won't be signing any petitions against Rick Warren opening the ceremony. I'm fine with that. His voice is one of the many voices of the American people, and we should not deny him or his followers the right to pray for our president. But at the end of things, it is not his voice that will linger in the air, but another's.

Music and comedy

I wish Milk had come out two months earlier, but regardless I highly recommend everyone go check it out.

On a lighter note, let's look at our current battle through the eyes of community musical theatre.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Also, for gamers, you'll want to check out this musical game.

On Race

I just finished two books: No Matter How Much You Promise to Cook or Pay the Rent, You Blew It Cauze Bill Bailey Ain't Never Coming Back Again, by Edgardo Vega Yunqué and Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama.

Both books deal largely with issues of race, and with issues of identity around being multi-racial in particular. One is fictional, and one is biographical. Both, in their own ways, are at times heartbreaking.

Back in college, I took a fairly awful class that was being taught by a guest professor. It was part of my performing arts minor, but I honestly couldn't tell you anything I learned in the class. There was one interaction that I've never forgotten, however. I don't remember why, or the larger context of the discussion, but the instructor told me that I was a racist. I protested, and she dismissed me casually, saying that by virtue of being a white male I was a racist and that was that.

I had never been so insulted in my life, and I mean that without hyperbole.

Now, almost twenty years later, I think I understand a little bit of what she so cavalierly claimed. In my time with the California School Leadership Academy I was exposed to a lot of research about racial attitudes and especially about the ignorance that white people tend to have about their own racial experience. Most white people wouldn't even claim to HAVE a racial experience because we equate whiteness with normality. We don't have a white experience, we're just normal. Be normal like us.

This was about ten years ago, and opened my eyes to a whole host of assumptions I had made about my life and experience. I was not actively engaged in any oppression, wasn't in the habit of uttering racially derogatory statements or epithets, and thought myself relatively free of racial attitudes. But I had no sense that my white suburban history provided me with a life experience that was ... well ... white, privileged, special. My life experience was NOT normal, and in fact had little to do with the life experience of most people on the planet.

Since then, I've evolved a more sophisticated understanding of how race plays a factor in my life, but these books held another surprise for me. Obama's reflections in particular gave me a jolt.

He talks about the full blown resentment towards whites by those who are under oppression. It is not based on individual actions, but is based on history and despair and suspicion. I could spend my days doing everything I can to alleviate suffering in a poor, predominantly black area and it might do little to nothing to heal race barriers because my actions could be resented because my presence was an example of the white man's ability to choose to do whatever he wanted, and the fact that I could walk away at any moment from the suffering I had embraced would make me an object of distaste and suspicion. My very presence in such a community would act as a reminder of white privilege. This is phrased awkwardly, but what Obama describes is a catch-22, a social paralysis. No matter what I might do to heighten my awareness, no matter what acts I might take to help fix the injustice and social inequity around me, my very freedom to act marks me as the oppressor... as one who is simply patronizing.

In short, by being a white male, I am viewed as a racist.

Of course, this in and of itself is racist thinking and white people are not the only racists in the country, let alone the world. But the problem stands even more starkly before me as a result of this realization. No matter how much I try to live in a way that does no harm, shows equity, and tries to withhold judgement on those I encounter until I see them in fullness, I stand as recipient of a history of harmfulness, blindness, and oppression.

The visiting professor was right, in her way, although she did absolutely nothing to help me understand her statement at the time.

So, where do I stand currently? In the same spot I have been, really. I stand in a position of awareness not only of my own experience and cultural inheritance, but also where I stand in the cultural inheritance of others. To those who know me, I can move outside that placeholder, but for those who see me on the street, on BART, in the local shops, I carry my own kind of stigma. The best I can do is to acknowledge these histories and refuse to play into expectations.

It's a start.

Pics of the house

I took a bunch of pics when I went to meet the house inspectors.

I've got them on my Flickr page, which is here.

It's not much to look at yet, but transformations will occur!

Inspections

So, I met with the building inspectors today. The roof guy had apparently already come and gone, so I didn't get the "on the spot" report from him, but I did talk with the house inspector and the termite guy.

There are some issues. The downstairs bathroom essentially has to be completely ripped out and repaired, as it's got leaks around the toilet and bathtub, and the walls and floor have gone spongy. I thought the tub and toilet were a bit grotty anyway, so this isn't horrifying, and the upstairs shower and toilet are in great shape. So, the first project will be the downstairs bathroom, which will be otherwise off limits to any guests I have.

The other major issue was with the stove that the selling bank just put in. There is no external vents for the gas stove, which makes it a health and safety issue. We need a downward vent stove, otherwise I've got to install a big ugly duct going out the side wall. A downward venting stove would be more elegant and cheaper. So I need the selling bank to take back the stove they put in (which isn't even hooked up) and put an appropriate one in.

Other than that, there was a single pipe issue that seems pretty easy to fix and the myriad little details around the house that I plan to fix over the next several years. For a 100 year old house, it's in really good condition.

So, we'll get the full report, get some hard numbers, and see if the bank will at least fix the stove and push for a price drop due to the bathroom.

Status Updates

It seems a good idea to get a list of status updates going, so I can get it straight in my own head if nothing else.

Sweetie Tanya soundtrack: In Process.
Due to litigation concerns, Steve Kahn has rewritten the opening and closing number, and I've given the new tunes the thumbs up. Steve is working on arrangements and we'll go back into the studio soon to record them. Neil Howard is locating a singer to do his tune "Vengeance is best served hot", so we'll add that to the recording list as well. In the meanwhile, I am going to get our final contracts worked up for all the artists and see if I can start releasing the finalized songs on iTunes or CD-Baby as individual tracks while we wait for the last few numbers to get finished.

iScan: Feb 2009.
Peggy Powell's one-act will be remounted with the original cast for the 2009 Bay Area One Act Festival at the Eureka Theatre in February. We'll go back into rehearsal on Feb 2nd and open on the 19th.

The One-Eyed Man is King: May 2009.
I'll be performing as the blind thief Bendalli at the Phoenix Theatre.

Radiostar--Improv: Ongoing Production. We're still meeting pretty much weekly, and I've committed to getting a new audio show out every OTHER week. Ostensibly this should allow me time to work concurrently on the animated series.

Radiostar--Animated Series: Limping in production.
Episode 4 is about 2/3rds through the first of its seven scenes.

411: In writing stage.
Progress is slow on this, but I'm 36 pages into the first draft. The goal is to go into production the fall of 2009, but we'll see.

Tales of the Planes--Unification : Limbo.
I'm seven chapters into this novel and haven't touched it in a year and a half. It's not dead, but sleeping.

Sick Fucker: Gestating.
I have the story in my head, but haven't gotten the first word on paper.

Mammals in Collision: Limbo.
The first two acts are written, but have been for a couple of years.

Wings to Fly: Limbo.
I need a composer to turn my draft into a musical, and will start a second draft when I find him or her.

Called to the sea: Gestating.
This short story still wants to be told, but has to wait.

Submergency: Uncertain.
There has been talk of doing a show in March, but I'm not sure I have the bandwidth and recent events combined with other nascent projects may have soured enthusiasm on this one.

Tom Sup: Limbo, probably dead.
The third chapter in The Adventures of Tom Sup may be a graphic novel someday, but it's unlikely.

Pinch: Limbo.
I'd love to do a film version of my malformed nightmare-play, but it's little more than a flicker on the back burner.

Pond: Uncertain.
Conceived as a warmup to making 411, I have the notes and outline all ready, but until get the 411 script done, it sits neglected.

Pharmarsupial: Dead of improv overdose.

The Knifies: Gestating.
Diana Brown is working on an outline for this improv-film for me to review once I get 411 off the ground.

Vagina Dentata: Resting.
I need to see if I can find anyone interested in producing the show, which was well received.

Sweetie Tanya: Resting.
I need to see if I can find anyone interested in producing the show, which was well received. This, of course, needs to wait until we get the new songs done.

In a Distant Country: Resting.
I've given this play to a church that I know has an interest in readings, and possibly production, but who knows. It'd be nice to see my first play remounted, though.

On the Radio

So, it looks like I was on Peter Finch's "Beat of the Bay" on KFOG. Peter came and saw "Pulp Scripture" and covers the event, including about 95% of the Isaac and Abraham story (me, Dennis McIntyre, and Linda Ayers-Frederick). The rest of it is an interview with playwright William Bivins and the very beginning of the Adam and Eve sequence with me and Emily Jordan making very naughty noises in a church.

It's on the KFOG site, Nov 8th, 2008 episode, at 17:30.

A frequently asked question

I did a staged reading of some short plays based on the saucier moments in the Old Testament. It was a delight to do, and I felt spurred to forward the church coordinator a copy of my first play, "In a Distant Country". This led, as many conversations inevitably do, to the question of why I left the church after completing a four year degree in Biblical Studies and three years of Seminary.

I get asked this often enough, that I figured I might as well post the answer here. It doesn't deal with the specific circumstances around my departure, but it explains, in my mind, why I continue to maintain my distance from the church I had dedicated so much of my young life to.

---------------------------

Ah, yes. It's, as I'm sure you can guess, a popular inquiry and one that could fill an evening in discussion.

While there were personal aspects to the decision to change my vocation and move towards a broader theological perspective, there were also spiritual and intellectual ones as well, which are probably more vital.

Through my study of church history, I began to become more and more uncomfortable with the exclusivity of the messianic message, and less and less convinced that it was what Jesus had in mind. The rise of codified doctrine as the church moved out of a place of persecution and into one of power, and the radically different ways that the "one way" looked when viewed from different points in history/economy/race/class structure... all this presented me with a real problem. The vast majority of what we call Christianity has seemed to do mostly with maintaining power structure, contemporary moral codes, and social mores.

Much of this goes back to what, in my mind, has been the supplanting of the teachings of Jesus for the exhortations and governmental mindset of Paul. Paul's very authority was questioned repeatedly by those who actually walked with Jesus, and has been established by a particular form of circular logic: Paul's churches, which were attractive to wealthy "god-fearing" Gentiles who admired Judaism but didn't want to deal with being circumcised as adults or obey the dietary laws, grew and succeeded. Because these churches were successful, while others were not, the letters of the founder get exalted to the writ of the Holy Spirit.

Paul's conversion became the model of Christian faith (and the basis for the idea of being Born Again) starting with Augustine, continuing to make Paul and his perspective the normative one in the church. As time moves farther and farther from the source, Paul's ad hoc attempts to bring his fledgling churches under control become used over and over again to apply universal rules of behavior to the believing community. The vast majority of ills the world has suffered at the hands of the church have, in my mind, come from Paul's often misunderstood comments about women, his attempts to calm down unruly behavior, and his vitriolic defense of his authority from the skepticism and denouncements of the Apostles.

I have no issue with Jesus, but I do believe that he viewed himself and his mission as essentially Jewish in nature. He only dealt with gentiles when they forced themselves upon him and became an object lesson of the kind of faith and passion he was trying to inspire in his own people. My issue is with Paul, and the hellenization of a jewish spirituality that came to owe as much to Plato as it does to Moses and the prophets.

Again, there was much going on in my personal life as well when I made the actual split, but the concerns from a theological level had been developing for years.

I don't know if that qualifies as a story, but the more narrative part of this deals more with the circumstances that forced me to take a good hard look at myself, what I was doing, where I was going, and why. It tells why I stood back at that time, but this explains why I have remained on the outside, sympathetic to a compassionate theology and believing community, but separate from it.

Joy and Sorrow

It feels like I should write something about the last 24 hours.

I'm deeply, profoundly glad and relieved that Barack Obama will be taking over as President in January. In many ways, it feels like I'm getting my country back.

At the same time, I'm incredibly sad that Proposition 8 passed here in California. I'm also sad because I feel that it passed because people believed the lies put forth by the proponents of the proposition. "Our schools will be forced to teach gay marriage," "churches will be punished if they don't perform gay marriage ceremonies", etc. This is what is known as "bearing false witness". Schools don't teach marriage now, so why would they have to teach gay marriage? Churches don't have to perform a wedding for anyone who asks for it, so why would they be punished in the future for it? My church, growing up, was very clear that if the pastor didn't feel good about the proposed union, he wouldn't do the service.

So we had a conservative religious push to change our state constitution that felt the need to lie to get its agenda passed.

I believe that a large number of people voted for Prop 8 because they believed the lies. They believed that it was going to force a worldview they weren't totally comfortable with into the public schools. They believed that their religious freedom was going to be curtailed. They were lied to, and they were lied to by people who are supposed to believe that "the truth shall set you free."

Hypocrisy and hate disguised as moral uprightness are nothing new for the church (regardless of whether it's the Catholic church, the Baptist church, or the Mormon church). Still, it makes me sad that the voters of California took away the liberties of others in the belief that they were protecting their own. It makes me sad that people who claim to be "Pro-America" do everything they can to subvert the very democratic process they are supposed to protect.

God's gonna be pissed

Thanks to Dave over at Terminal Velocity for this.

Christians praying over a golden (technically bronze) calf (technically bull).

I find this seriously baffling. Then again, in my experience many Christians have an appalling ignorance of their own sacred texts. Let's just say that that last time the people of YHWH dealt with graven images of bulls it didn't go over so well.

In other news. I've put an offer in for a house. I should hear something at some point in the next week.

adventures in home shopping

So, I took a long lunch yesterday and visited (and re-visited) some properties with my realtor. We started out at a place I've been looking at in West Oakland. It's a cute little place in what is turning into a nice little oasis neighborhood. For those of you who aren't local, West Oakland doesn't have the best reputation and large parts of it deserve that reputation. This place was nice, though, and had the benefit of a large basement level that had been converted into an extra room and bathroom. It would make an ideal sound studio. I was wary, however, due to the extensive work that needed to be done on the roof, the kitchen, and the floors throughout. Still, all that would come out on the Seller's end if I made getting it all fixed a precondition of sale. We left, and I considered the little Queen Anne's cottage an ongoing option.

The next place was a home I'd been interested in before, but had gone off the market for a few weeks. It only a couple of blocks from MacArthur BART, which was very appealing to me. There were many things about the place that I liked: interesting floor plan, lots of built in wall cabinets, good wood floors, a fully updated kitchen, lemon and pear trees in the back, and a somewhat odd DIY covered and elevated back porch that extended a good twenty feet into the back yard. It was enclosed with plastic windows, and a small window opening to allow someone to feed laundry out to a long pulley operated clothesline. My realtor guessed that whoever had lived here was afraid to go outside, but after seeing the bathroom, I suspected that she simply couldn't get up and down the stairs. The bathroom was incredibly tiny, with no shower, bright pink bathtub and toilet, and lots of guardrails around the bathtub. The attic entrance was directly over the bathtub. It looked like at some point the bathroom had been moved from a normal sized room at some point and that a little hallway had been turned into the bathroom instead. It would have to be completely redone and an existing "Bedroom" turned into a bathroom. The home was across from a High School campus, which made it a bit noisy, but not too bad. What was a killer was the family of three pitbulls on one side of the house, and another very loud barking dog on the other side. As soon as they saw activity, the dogs began barking furiously, spurring each other to new heights of volume. The family of pitbulls settled down after about 10 minutes, but the other dog kept on furiously. That became a dealbreaker. Between having to completely redo the bathroom and the potential of non-stop barking, this home fell down on the list.

We scratched another house off the list due to complications with current tenants and possible other offers that had been made and headed down south to Fruitvale. Fruitvale had a similar reputation to West Oakland, but has been seeing significant changes over the last decade. That said, certain parts are still referred to as "Murder Row". Fortunately, the parts I was interested in were a good ten blocks from there. Crime stats for the area were reasonable, or at least reasonable for Oakland.

Thus, the third house we actually looked at was one I'd had my eye on for the last two weeks. A cute little home on 36th ave that needed an appointment in order to view. We hadn't been able to look at it the last time we checked properties, but now had the chance to check it out. It was occupied by a family of six: husband, wife, grandmother, and three kids. We quickly moved through the house, but I knew after about three seconds that there was no way in hell I could evict this family. I let my realtor know that I'd seen enough and we left, with the kids peering at us through the back fence. He let me know that they were renting, not owners. I hope that whoever buys the house buys it as a rental property. The thought that I was looking over the home with the intent to dispossess them was the most horrible feeling I've had in some time. I might as well have been wearing my top hat and greatcoat, twirling my mustache.

All this took us back to the first property I looked at a week and a half earlier. Less than half a mile from Fruitvale BART, a nice tree lined street, low crime (and extremely sturdy and pointy fence as well), no yard to have to deal with, two stories, and in pretty good shape across the board. I had been uncertain about it when I first saw it, but after seeing over a dozen properties in my price range, it's clearly the best deal available (not counting the dream victorian that was never to be mine, despite my weeping a million tears). What I didn't know then, but know now, was how easy it would be to replace the carpet upstairs with a hardwood floor and how trivial it would be to reroute the washer and dryer outlets so that they lead INTO the building instead of the back yard. Most everything else visibly wrong with the property is long term cosmetic fixes and improvements. Clean up the floor, soap and paint the walls, re-paint or stain the cabinets... nothing that I couldn't move in and to over the next several months or years.

So, I'm placing an offer with the bank.

Whazzup

truth being stranger than fiction

Neil Gaiman posted this little slice of life over on his journal, and it so tickled me that I thought I'd post it. It's the kind of thing that Douglas Adams might have invented.

"I opened the Google window and found myself looking at an advert for a G1 phone. A couple of clicks later I was on the T-mobile website, checking prices and thinking, "Well, I do need a new phone..."

But randomly buying a phone I haven't even held seemed like, well, something that I couldn't imagine myself doing. I wanted to hold it. I wanted to know the specs and such, so I put dog in the back of the car and drove to the local T-Mobile shop.

I knew I was in the right place because there were huge posters everywhere, some bigger than I was, all advertising the new t-Mobile G1.

"Hello," I said, like a man entering a cheeseshop. "I'd like to play with a G1, please."

There was a man and a woman behind the counter. They said they were sorry but they didn't have a G1 for me to play with.

"When will you get them in?"

"We won't get them in."

"No?"

"No."

"Look, are we talking about the same thing? G1 phone. The one on that poster. And that poster. And that one..." The posters were staring at me from the counter. They were all around me.

"No. We won't sell it. We're out of the range and the Google and things that the phone comes with, they won't work on it."

I pulled out my phone, a Nokia N 73, with a T-Mobile SIM card, that happily spends much too much time on the internet doing, er, Google and things. "But this works here..."

"The G1 won't work. It won't do the Google here. So we aren't allowed to sell it."

"But...." I tried to think with this. then I said, "But you have posters." I gestured at them. All pictures of the phone in question, extolling its virtues and explaining that you could only get it here.

"We're a T-Mobile franchise. They send them to us. That's what we have to put up. The posters they send."

"Well, can we talk about the G1 specs?"

"We don't know them." The man and the woman behind the counter seemed very sad about this. The man added, wistfully,"We don't even know the price."

I knew the price, from the website earlier, and I felt guilty about this.

"They have them in the Twin Cities," said the woman. "You could buy one there."

"But if I buy it there, it still won't work here?"

"No," she said, with sadness and with, I suspect envy in her voice. "but they sell it."

There was a bit of a pause. I think I may have said, "Sorry about the posters," as I went out, or I may have just thought it very loudly. They all had pretty pictures of the G1 on them, a phone I don't think I'm going to bother getting."