Because it's awesome

Ashes to Ashes

So, I asked the city of Oakland what the trees are that line my street.

I got the answer yesterday. They are "Raywood Ash", also known as "Claret Ash" due to the lovely wine color the leaves turn in the fall.

I called Kaiser to ask if they test for Ash, since it wasn't on my results. They don't. They do test families, but the allergist couldn't tell me offhand what family of tree the Ash belongs to.

Well, the Ash is part of the Oleaceae family of trees.

The average person may know them as OLIVE TREES.


And now I know that I have doomed myself, because I am allergic to Olive trees, and my street is lined with them.

I may buy stock in Claratin.

Allergies

So, the last four months have been a bit of a sinus nightmare. Between the endless colds and allergies, I haven't known if I was coming or going. Kristi was convinced that my immune system was being worn down by a low level wheat allergy. I was less convinced, but it was certainly the worst spate of nose awfulness I'd had in a good LONG time.

So, today I got tested.

The good news is that I'm not allergic to wheat or dairy.

The bad news is that I'm allergic to almost everything else.

In particular: Bermuda Grass.

This shit is everywhere. I'm not botanist, but it looks like it's growing in my miniscule back yard. It's impossible to kill, as has a deep root system and will grow back from the tiniest bit of remains. I'm tempted to irradiate the soil.
It doesn't like shade, which would suggest maybe planting a tree. But what kind? More on that in a moment.

Perennial Rye Grass

I had the strongest reaction to this. It appears to be the standard suburban lawn. I.e the stuff that my parents made me mow every week. Bastards. Fortunately, it requires lots of water and maintenance, so I won't be finding it growing wild on my property. I may need to secretly pee all over my neighbor's lawns at night, though.

Lamb's Quarter

I don't think this is growing here, but I've seen some pics that look like the stuff growing in between the cracks in my walkway. Hard to say, though. It's edible, and a substitute for spinach. Now, I can't each spinach in large doses because of my kidney stones, and now it looks like I'm at war with the entire family!

English Plantain

Ok, I've never seen this. So that's fine. You keep your distance English Plantain, and I'll keep mine. Just remember, there's not enough room in this town for the both of us. I see you... I cut you.

Oak Tree

Oh crap. I live in OAK-LAND. Of course, this city pretty much deforested itself of all oaks decades ago, but still. CRAP! My floor is made of oak! That's it, if my floor starts to pollinate, I'm gonna get it replaced with cheap linoleum.
In any event, I need to stop licking my floor.

Olive Tree

Olive trees? Really? I like olives. And the trees look so cool. Well, so much for my trip to Jerusalem.

Walnut Tree

This is just getting ridiculous. Walnut trees? Really?

White Alder

Clearly, I need to go into a career in forestry.

Elm Trees

Ok, FINE. I will never go outdoors again. Are you happy now?

Western Sycamore


So basically I'm allergic to grass and trees. Yes, I'm fine with ragweed, house dust, acacia, cedar trees.... and dogs and cats.

Wait, I'm not allergic to cats? How is that possible? Unless.... unless... they've been out and about rolling in perennial rye and bermuda grass! Kaaaaahhhhnnnnn!

Still, good to know that if I get an indoor cat, I should be ok with it.

How does your garden grow?

Have I mentioned lately how happy I am about the Obama administration?

I mean, sometimes it's the little things that just make me smile. A White House garden, with a portion of the vegetables going to feed the local homeless?

Marvelous.

Things on this end have been challenging. Work is kicking my ass, and I've fallen sick AGAIN, after coming so very close to getting over the persistent cough from the last cold. I'm seeing a doctor for a checkup in two weeks, but I don't know what he'll tell me besides "You should lose about 10 lbs" and "yeah, it's going around."

iScan, along with the rest of the Bay Area One Act Festival has closed, and I'm in rehearsals for The One Eyed Man Is King, by Carter Lewis. It turns out that Dylan Russell (Radiostar, Manumission) knows Mr. Lewis, proving once again that the world consists of about 500 people.

I'm horribly behind on editing Radiostar shows due to a freelance gig I just completed, but hope to get a new show out this week. I have a lot of hopes for productivity this weekend, but will likely accomplish very little as I really do need to rest. Still, all the grass I attacked a few weeks ago is back at "no one lives here" levels, so I may need to tackle it again. Yes, I'm turning into everyone's suburban Dad. God help us all.


No other news to speak of. Most of my energy right now is directed towards work, which is demanding it quite forcefully. I think I'm just about on top of things, though, so I'm hoping for a little equilibrium in the very near future.

I'm delusional in that way.

Watchmen

Sure, I could pontificate on the movie, but why bother when you've got this?

accountability

It occurs to me that I forgot to write an important part of the last post, which is that I'm immensely grateful to have someone in my life to hold me accountable to do the things for myself that I know I should.

I've looked at Dentist offices for years, thinking, I need to do that. I've signed up for a gym, and even lasted a couple of months. I've tried this thing, and that thing, and all without any real result.

Ultimately, I need someone to hold me accountable, even if all that means is that I have to look them in the eye on a regular basis and be reminded by their example.

It's why I started writing a blog, all those years ago. I knew that without some sense of audience, some sense of accountability I would never get beyond writing a journal only during times of great distress and heartache. How very boring. By feeling that someone out there was holding me accountable, I would write more consistently.

Like most people, in a vacuum, I move towards inertia.

Healthy choices

I've never been particularly good at self care. It's not that I don't acknowledge the benefits of a better diet and more exercise, I'm just not that good at maintenance.

Lame, I know, but there you go.

So, I'm now dating a vegetarian who loves to run and is highly invested in keeping me on the planet for as long as humanly possible. She's already got me eating many more vegetables than usual, and has gotten me to the dentist for the first time in *mumble* years.

Yeah, I'm not proud of that. When I moved to Oakland, I just never got around to finding a new dentist. For those of you who know me... yeah, it's been that long. Amazingly, other than cranky gums and an insane amount of buildup, my teeth seem to be none the worse for wear.

Also, I've undone the good I'd managed to do on my credit card balance by buying a Wii and a WiiFit. The WiiFit is sitting upstairs, and I should have the Wii proper by Friday. I think that she's more excited than I am, but from everything I've heard, this may actually work for someone like me.

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Of course what inspired me to share this with you is the news I got off today's White House Blog posting.

"President Obama also said today that $155M from the Recovery Act will go toward supporting 126 new health centers across the country, providing care to 750,000 Americans and creating 5,000 jobs."

Granted, California could stand to have all of those, given our size and population density, but overall this is an awesome use of federal moneys. I'm extremely proud of our president. I also love how his language on this issue hasn't changed from his campaign speeches, and that he's very aggressively preparing for the backlash from the health care and pharmaceuticals companies. Check out his weekly statement to see what I mean.

Did you know?

T.M. Camp asked (via Twitter) if this excited or scared me.

Excited.

Budget

Ever since 2000, I've been lucky enough to not have to worry too much about money. Since 2005, when I sold my car and became a born again pedestrian, I've not worried at all. I always made more than I spent, and if I DID spend a little more than the last paycheck, I had a good, solid buffer in place.

Then I bought a house.

These months are the hardest, as I've dumped everything I have into the down payment, closing costs, renovation costs, and trying to toss a little extra into the mortgage payments to save me a ton of money in the long run.

And my bank account is looking pretty damn small right now.

A lot of people I now literally live paycheck to paycheck, and I'm not quite that low. Not yet. But I'm going to be seeing a lot fewer shows over the next few months, and being a bit less social. Ok, part of that last is due to rehearsals for my next show, but it's also because I just don't have any scratch.

As distressing as I find my situation, I know I have enough money in the bank to pay my bills. I know that my second biggest monthly financial commitment will go away in a mere eight months... and maybe sooner. But that doesn't stop me from compulsively checking my bank balance every couple of days.

I'll start doing my taxes soon, and that should give me a windfall that I desperately need. That's encouraging, but it's still a month or two down the road before I can expect to get any cash back.

So, if I don't come see your show, or if I don't offer to pay for dinner, or if I just generally seem to be a little more scarce than usual, forgive me.

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also, in thematically related news, Obama has put his budget online for citizen review. I highly recommend that you subscribe to the White House blog's RSS feed, which I've found to be a fantastic way to get news about what is happening in the new administration.

More from the New Frontiersman

I know I may be setting myself up for disappointment, but damn it if it doesn't look like they really get it. Here's hoping the Watchmen movie lives up to it.

Excellent points about the stimulus

Saw this on CNN. The man's got a good point about the Republican list of things to remove from the stimulus plan.

Updating instead of getting work done

Things are going well on this end. Here's a few updates:

The house is developing nicely. I've been here for almost three weeks now, and it feels more and more like my home than this big building that I'm inhabiting. Having the kitchen done and all the appliances hooked up will make a huge difference, as it's hard to settle in someplace when your only water comes from bathroom sinks, your dining room is filled with cabinets and your fridge is in the living room.

It's been nice having Suraya as a houseguest during this time, although we rarely see each other. A more constant companion has been her cat, Midnight, who has taken an aggressive shine to me. Unfortunately I have a mild allergy to cats, and Midnight is very dander-y. Still, whenever I choose to work downstairs, I have a loudly purring ball of night who routinely head-butts me and burrows into my side until I pay attention to her.

iScan is gearing up, with our first production meeting. I've secured the only missing prop (the couch) and we go into rehearsals in two weeks.

The One Eyed Man is King is a show I'll be acting in at the Phoenix Theatre, this May. Directed by Bahati Bonner and co-starring Andi Trindle, it's going to be a really great show and a true challenge for me. I'm looking forward to it, and really need to start working on the script.

Radiostar: Improv is relaunching for 2009. We've had a couple of weeks of recording sessions and I've just been handed "Hypnosis" (working title) for editing and posting (hopefully this week). I also want to get back to work on the fourth cartoon.

The 411 script continues slowly. I'm about a third of the way through it, I think. I hope to get some work on it done this week.

Everything else is up in the air. Steve is gathering forces for the Sweetie Tanya re-recording session and I need to get working on the cast gift. I was very heartened by a spontaneous love-message-fest by the cast on Facebook, and need to be sure that Tanya doesn't drift in the aether for too long. The novel continues to glare at me from the pile, along with Wings to Fly, Mammals in Collision, Called to the Sea and SickFucker.


on the side of unproductivity, as I arrange my bookshelves, I've been reading through some of my old comics. Some are being put in a pile for Craigslist or eBay duty, and others I'm finding are as compelling and fresh as they were back in the 90's when I got them. In particular, I've renewed my appreciation for John Francis Moore's run on X-Men 2099 and Eric Luke's run on Ghost. Sadly, I couldn't find much in the way of interviews for them. I forget sometimes that people don't often interview writers. It probably doesn't matter, because what I'm most curious about are Moore's thoughts about the way that Marvel obliterated the 2099 imprint, and Luke's thoughts about the direction Ghost took after he left the series that he invented. These are topics that people are loathe to speak candidly about in public, since they may need to work with certain parties again in the future.

Resist

I could write about adjusting to being in the new house.
I could write about marching for peace in Gaza in San Francisco.

But I want you to see this protest in Israel itself.

checklist

gas and electric scheduled for transfer, check.
phone and DSL scheduled for transfer, check.
mail service scheduled for transfer, check.

I close escrow on Tuesday. I finish the move on January 3rd. I'll have DSL up and running on Monday the 5th.

People are being amazingly supportive and giving. A friend of Lorelei's is offloading a table-desk on me, which will live in the recording studio/laundry room. Kristi has a friends who is offloading a queen sized bed with sleigh-frame for a pittance. There are rumors of other items in the pipeline as well that people would rather sell super cheap or give away than have to trash (like sheds or even hot tubs). It's all quite amazing.

I've still got some major purchases to make (washer, dryer, fridge, stove, dishwasher), but thanks to another friend I should be able to get these at contractor prices. We've already gotten a completely new cabinet set for $500.

In all of this I continue to be flabbergasted.

The first month will be chaotic, as Chris rips out the kitchen and downstairs bathroom and reassembles it, I'll be using the upstairs bathroom exclusively, as will my houseguest, and I'll probably have the fridge hooked up in the living room. Dishes may be done in the upstairs bathroom sink for a bit. Still, it's all more than good, and it will be for a very brief period.

On Tuesday, Kristi will help me move the boxes that are already packed (mostly books, DVDs, knick knacks, summer clothes, and art) into the house, unpack it all and put it in the corner. Then I'll take the boxes back and pack up the remainder of office and kitchen stuff for the move on the 3rd.

Now, I need to contact a locksmith, and then I'll need to find out how to turn off the alarm system on Tuesday so it quits beeping futilely.

Happy new year.

looking at the big picture

Like many, I got my feathers ruffled when I started getting emails about how Rick Warren was doing the opening prayer at Barack Obama's inauguration. A slap in the face of the gay and transgender community! Salt on the wound of Prop 8! Petition! Clamour!

And then I read the article in the New York Times. Yes, Rick Warren is doing the opening speech, and yes Rick Warren was a major voice for Prop 8 and against the gay community.

However

"Ms. Douglass noted that the benediction, or closing prayers, would be offered by the Rev. Joseph E. Lowery, a civil rights icon who has expressed support for gay marriage, and that the Lesbian and Gay Band Association would march in the inaugural parade, the first time such a group would do so."

This puts a new light on things, and is entirely within Obama's way of handling matters. What is he saying with these choices? I believe he's saying, as he did on his election night "I am the President of ALL America." This isn't anything new. Part of the reason I elected him is because he's interested in getting people together in the same room and talking to each other.

Still, note the order.

We are transitioning from a right wing, fundamentalist regime to something quite different. We open this transition with a voice from the Right. A strident voice, loud and harsh. We close the transition with a very different prayer, a different voice, one of civil rights and equality.

I don't think anything Obama does is accidental. I won't be signing any petitions against Rick Warren opening the ceremony. I'm fine with that. His voice is one of the many voices of the American people, and we should not deny him or his followers the right to pray for our president. But at the end of things, it is not his voice that will linger in the air, but another's.

Music and comedy

I wish Milk had come out two months earlier, but regardless I highly recommend everyone go check it out.

On a lighter note, let's look at our current battle through the eyes of community musical theatre.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Also, for gamers, you'll want to check out this musical game.

On Race

I just finished two books: No Matter How Much You Promise to Cook or Pay the Rent, You Blew It Cauze Bill Bailey Ain't Never Coming Back Again, by Edgardo Vega Yunqué and Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama.

Both books deal largely with issues of race, and with issues of identity around being multi-racial in particular. One is fictional, and one is biographical. Both, in their own ways, are at times heartbreaking.

Back in college, I took a fairly awful class that was being taught by a guest professor. It was part of my performing arts minor, but I honestly couldn't tell you anything I learned in the class. There was one interaction that I've never forgotten, however. I don't remember why, or the larger context of the discussion, but the instructor told me that I was a racist. I protested, and she dismissed me casually, saying that by virtue of being a white male I was a racist and that was that.

I had never been so insulted in my life, and I mean that without hyperbole.

Now, almost twenty years later, I think I understand a little bit of what she so cavalierly claimed. In my time with the California School Leadership Academy I was exposed to a lot of research about racial attitudes and especially about the ignorance that white people tend to have about their own racial experience. Most white people wouldn't even claim to HAVE a racial experience because we equate whiteness with normality. We don't have a white experience, we're just normal. Be normal like us.

This was about ten years ago, and opened my eyes to a whole host of assumptions I had made about my life and experience. I was not actively engaged in any oppression, wasn't in the habit of uttering racially derogatory statements or epithets, and thought myself relatively free of racial attitudes. But I had no sense that my white suburban history provided me with a life experience that was ... well ... white, privileged, special. My life experience was NOT normal, and in fact had little to do with the life experience of most people on the planet.

Since then, I've evolved a more sophisticated understanding of how race plays a factor in my life, but these books held another surprise for me. Obama's reflections in particular gave me a jolt.

He talks about the full blown resentment towards whites by those who are under oppression. It is not based on individual actions, but is based on history and despair and suspicion. I could spend my days doing everything I can to alleviate suffering in a poor, predominantly black area and it might do little to nothing to heal race barriers because my actions could be resented because my presence was an example of the white man's ability to choose to do whatever he wanted, and the fact that I could walk away at any moment from the suffering I had embraced would make me an object of distaste and suspicion. My very presence in such a community would act as a reminder of white privilege. This is phrased awkwardly, but what Obama describes is a catch-22, a social paralysis. No matter what I might do to heighten my awareness, no matter what acts I might take to help fix the injustice and social inequity around me, my very freedom to act marks me as the oppressor... as one who is simply patronizing.

In short, by being a white male, I am viewed as a racist.

Of course, this in and of itself is racist thinking and white people are not the only racists in the country, let alone the world. But the problem stands even more starkly before me as a result of this realization. No matter how much I try to live in a way that does no harm, shows equity, and tries to withhold judgement on those I encounter until I see them in fullness, I stand as recipient of a history of harmfulness, blindness, and oppression.

The visiting professor was right, in her way, although she did absolutely nothing to help me understand her statement at the time.

So, where do I stand currently? In the same spot I have been, really. I stand in a position of awareness not only of my own experience and cultural inheritance, but also where I stand in the cultural inheritance of others. To those who know me, I can move outside that placeholder, but for those who see me on the street, on BART, in the local shops, I carry my own kind of stigma. The best I can do is to acknowledge these histories and refuse to play into expectations.

It's a start.

Pics of the house

I took a bunch of pics when I went to meet the house inspectors.

I've got them on my Flickr page, which is here.

It's not much to look at yet, but transformations will occur!

Inspections

So, I met with the building inspectors today. The roof guy had apparently already come and gone, so I didn't get the "on the spot" report from him, but I did talk with the house inspector and the termite guy.

There are some issues. The downstairs bathroom essentially has to be completely ripped out and repaired, as it's got leaks around the toilet and bathtub, and the walls and floor have gone spongy. I thought the tub and toilet were a bit grotty anyway, so this isn't horrifying, and the upstairs shower and toilet are in great shape. So, the first project will be the downstairs bathroom, which will be otherwise off limits to any guests I have.

The other major issue was with the stove that the selling bank just put in. There is no external vents for the gas stove, which makes it a health and safety issue. We need a downward vent stove, otherwise I've got to install a big ugly duct going out the side wall. A downward venting stove would be more elegant and cheaper. So I need the selling bank to take back the stove they put in (which isn't even hooked up) and put an appropriate one in.

Other than that, there was a single pipe issue that seems pretty easy to fix and the myriad little details around the house that I plan to fix over the next several years. For a 100 year old house, it's in really good condition.

So, we'll get the full report, get some hard numbers, and see if the bank will at least fix the stove and push for a price drop due to the bathroom.

Status Updates

It seems a good idea to get a list of status updates going, so I can get it straight in my own head if nothing else.

Sweetie Tanya soundtrack: In Process.
Due to litigation concerns, Steve Kahn has rewritten the opening and closing number, and I've given the new tunes the thumbs up. Steve is working on arrangements and we'll go back into the studio soon to record them. Neil Howard is locating a singer to do his tune "Vengeance is best served hot", so we'll add that to the recording list as well. In the meanwhile, I am going to get our final contracts worked up for all the artists and see if I can start releasing the finalized songs on iTunes or CD-Baby as individual tracks while we wait for the last few numbers to get finished.

iScan: Feb 2009.
Peggy Powell's one-act will be remounted with the original cast for the 2009 Bay Area One Act Festival at the Eureka Theatre in February. We'll go back into rehearsal on Feb 2nd and open on the 19th.

The One-Eyed Man is King: May 2009.
I'll be performing as the blind thief Bendalli at the Phoenix Theatre.

Radiostar--Improv: Ongoing Production. We're still meeting pretty much weekly, and I've committed to getting a new audio show out every OTHER week. Ostensibly this should allow me time to work concurrently on the animated series.

Radiostar--Animated Series: Limping in production.
Episode 4 is about 2/3rds through the first of its seven scenes.

411: In writing stage.
Progress is slow on this, but I'm 36 pages into the first draft. The goal is to go into production the fall of 2009, but we'll see.

Tales of the Planes--Unification : Limbo.
I'm seven chapters into this novel and haven't touched it in a year and a half. It's not dead, but sleeping.

Sick Fucker: Gestating.
I have the story in my head, but haven't gotten the first word on paper.

Mammals in Collision: Limbo.
The first two acts are written, but have been for a couple of years.

Wings to Fly: Limbo.
I need a composer to turn my draft into a musical, and will start a second draft when I find him or her.

Called to the sea: Gestating.
This short story still wants to be told, but has to wait.

Submergency: Uncertain.
There has been talk of doing a show in March, but I'm not sure I have the bandwidth and recent events combined with other nascent projects may have soured enthusiasm on this one.

Tom Sup: Limbo, probably dead.
The third chapter in The Adventures of Tom Sup may be a graphic novel someday, but it's unlikely.

Pinch: Limbo.
I'd love to do a film version of my malformed nightmare-play, but it's little more than a flicker on the back burner.

Pond: Uncertain.
Conceived as a warmup to making 411, I have the notes and outline all ready, but until get the 411 script done, it sits neglected.

Pharmarsupial: Dead of improv overdose.

The Knifies: Gestating.
Diana Brown is working on an outline for this improv-film for me to review once I get 411 off the ground.

Vagina Dentata: Resting.
I need to see if I can find anyone interested in producing the show, which was well received.

Sweetie Tanya: Resting.
I need to see if I can find anyone interested in producing the show, which was well received. This, of course, needs to wait until we get the new songs done.

In a Distant Country: Resting.
I've given this play to a church that I know has an interest in readings, and possibly production, but who knows. It'd be nice to see my first play remounted, though.