Talk to the Baby

I'm in a weird state. Part of it is irregular sleep, I think. My boss commented yesterday that I looked tired, but today I feel it. Not to surprising, as I couldn't fall asleep last night and then woke up a few times. Dreams. I had a baby, and even though it was only a day or two old, managed to speak in a kind of barely understandable gibberish. As disturbing as this should have been, I was happy about it because at least I was able to relate to it and it could communicate with me. I woke up confused as to why I would feel good about the baby at all, but finally was able to pin down the communication issue as being what I felt so good about in the dream.

I'm not entirely sure what it means, but it was striking enough for me to remember before finally getting back to sleep again. The most obvious and literal key might be Squeaks' and Curmudgeon's baby shower last Saturday, but that's not the heart of it.

It may relate to a series of missed connections I've had recently. I was supposed to see a client, and then maybe meet up with Feathers and The Archivist afterwards, but the BART delay was enough to cause me to throw my hands in frustration after an hour of sitting at the 12th St station and cancel all my plans for the evening. It worked out nicely because I used the evening to edit another RadioStar episode, which puts me a week ahead of schedule, but it was frustrating as well.

I've been trying to meet up with Shutterbug for the last week and have been having a lot of difficulty there as well. I need to get hold of a lot of people, actually. I've finally given up trying to reach an actor I had in mind for a role in Vagina Dentata, and I really want to get that role re-cast before I tackle the new draft of the script. Of course, this may just be an excuse to avoid doing the work. I hate doing subsequent drafts.

I need to work on the novel, too. But the Firefly DVDs were too enticing last night, after I had finished the RadioStar episode.

I'm also working on transferring web servers on some of my websites, and experiencing glitches here and there. More communication problems.

So yeah, missed connections, absent friends, calls not returned, plans changed or abandoned, and so forth. I'm not sleeping properly and am tired all the time. Not eating all that well either. I'm creating and creating and collaborating and birthing projects here and there, but communication is always a problem. It's either blockages in my own soul, or crossed signals out in the world.

Still.... the image of a babbling newborn is still a bit freaky to the wakeful mind.